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What Not to Give Neighbors as Gifts
Sometimes we can’t be fortunate enough to have good neighbors. But when we do have them we want to keep them. If you want to make friends this year, It’s vital that you get them the right gift. We’re going to run down some of the things you should never give your neighbors as gifts.
1. Bacon-Scented Candles
It sounds like a great present because we all love the smell of bacon, but bacon is a funny thing. When it’s not the real thing, we know about it instantly. These bacon-scented candles don’t smell like the real thing and will create something similar to a toxic waste dump in your neighbor’s bathroom.
2. Bunchems
What we love about these little fellows is they look cute…from a distance. But get them anywhere near your hair and prepare for an Armageddon like never before. Cue hours of combing, cutting, and praying to the great hair gods in the sky.
3. Pet Pouch Hoodie
What could be cuter for the obsessive pet lover in your life? Small dogs and cats don’t like to be carried like miniature kangaroos. And they are going to make their feelings known as they react badly to being stuffed in one of these things.
4. Giant Screw
It’s a giant screw. Why else could this possibly be on a list other than this one?
5. Handerpants
This can be an exciting novelty present gone entirely wrong. Handerpants can easily be misconstrued as attempting to make an unsavory point. Gifts that you have to explain away are never good.
6. Unicorn Meat
With the customary gulp out of the way, mystery meat is never a good way to please a neighbor. More importantly, we have no idea what it really is, so we’re not going to take a chance.
7. iPhone Headphones
At first, this may come across as a thoughtful gift. But it’s secretly a devilish purchase as you know full well Apple is probably going to be making these obsolete sometime soon.
8. Bluetooth Gloves
Ready to look like a complete tool? Well this is the gift for you. Even if they think they’re cool, once they discover the truth you’re in big trouble.
9. Socks
Was that a whistle we heard?
That’s right, the lack of imagination train just pulled into the station. Nothing screams you didn’t know what to buy like socks.
10. Toe Warmers
What’s worse than socks?
A type of sock that doesn’t even cover your whole foot. It’s a novelty gift that seems practical during the winter, but we can’t help but still hate it.
11. Perfume
Any form of fragrance is something to stay away from. You never know what someone is going to like or dislike. The safest option is to simply avoid it entirely.
12. Peanut Brittle
Do you want something that tastes entirely of nothing? Then peanut brittle is for you. This is the snack that impresses nobody. Don’t make it worse by standing there until they take a bite out of it. Don’t be that guy!
13. Wine Bottle Sweater
We’ve looked at this holiday bottle sweater for a long time and we still can’t figure out why anyone would want it. Little help?
14. Hair Remover Kit
You’re sending that little old lady down the road something you think she will benefit from. But in reality you’re telling her that she needs to get rid of that moustache!
15. Funeral Home Cologne Spray
Just what the hell is wrong with you?
16. Expensive Whisky
Whisky is a gift your neighbor will absolutely love. On the other hand, you may not be able to afford such a gift every year. When they open up something less valuable the next time they’re going to think they’ve offended you. Keep affordable.
17. Bad Neighbors T-Shirt
You may think you’re being cute, but the other person may not take it this way. Try to keep humor to a minimum because it can easily blow up in your face. Oh yeah and you got the wrong size.
18. Bed Sheets
This falls into the category of the non-gift. It’s something that your neighbor would have bought themselves anyway if they needed it. Bed sheets don’t say anything, as do other non-gifts.
19. Toilet Duck
Another gift that screams cheap, the toilet duck may come in handy, but it’s borderline insulting if you get this for someone. Try to stay away from anything toilet-related if you actually like them.
20. It’s Not for Them!
By far the worst gifts are those that don’t belong to them. Someone once bought a relative of ours snowshoes in case the bad weather made the ground slippery. The catch was she’d been in a wheelchair for eighteen years.
Make sure you don’t offend or upset the neighbor you like this year. Save this list and take heed!
