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We don’t always get it right. The chances are you’re here because you’re afraid of buying a stinker for your loved ones this holiday season. Let’s take a moment to snicker at 20 of the worst possible things people have actually bought in the past.
Sit back and be happy in the knowledge that “We didn’t buy that.” Smugness engaged!
1. Electric Bug Vacuum
You suck up the insect and leave it to die in a pile of its dead brethren. Because nothing says Christmas like a miniature bug holocaust.
2.Novelty Glow in the Dark Tie
Novelty ties in general should be avoided. The few seconds of amusement really aren’t worth what you paid because nobody in their right mind would ever wear them outside the comfort of the living room.
3. Bread Maker
Sorry, but the ingredients are more expensive than the actual bread. You can get better bread from a professional bakery. You have to wait hours to get your bread. What is the point of this invention?
Now we’re not saying it isn’t practical, but honestly why are you buying a toilet seat for anyone anyway? We’re sure they can choose an ass-approved seat for themselves. It’s a little weird.
5. A Subscription to Weight Watchers Magazine
We lump in anything to do with weight loss. There’s no better way to insult someone than getting them something like this. They could stand to lose a few pounds though…
Not acceptable in private. Not acceptable in public. Not acceptable in society. Just no.
7. Ironing Board
Ever wanted to turn the woman in your life into a killing rage? Get the most misogynistic-intentioned gift you can: the humble ironing board.
8. A Gift That SAYS It’s the Worst Gift Ever
Even if you actually wanted socks, would you want them to say they’re a crappy gift? No. No, you wouldn’t.
10. Christmas Tree Ornament
They have enough ornaments and Christmas has already started. This is an excellent example of a practical gift given way too late.
The kids will love these. But childhood happiness is not a reason to bring these things into your home. Try standing on a Lego and then maybe you’ll understand.
11. Anything on Etiquette
This title is just one title that’s bound to insult anyone receiving it. Only people without any etiquette need a guide on it. Alternatively, if you’re a mother-in-law and you hate your son-in-law, punch that ‘Buy’ button.
12. Cucumber Soap (and any other soap)
Nothing says you have no idea what someone wants like scented soap. You may as well have just bought them a DVD case without the movie inside.
13. Smartphone Cover
Why is this a bad gift?
Two reasons. It shows you’re cheap and lazy. Plus you’d be surprised at how many people buy covers for devices the receiver doesn’t actually own.
And any other outdated tech gifts. Nobody has used these things in years. But if we ever need something to hold our digital music, we’ll know who to call.
We’ve all received stationary as kids. But how often did we really use that protractor? The answer is not often. There’s nothing that makes a child’s heart sink on Christmas Day like this.
16. Fake Money
We all wish our family and friends would just send cash sometimes. But when the money is fake, you shouldn’t be surprised when you wake up sleeping next to a horse’s head. This is technically psychological torture under the Geneva Convention.
17. Fake Hair
You’re going bald, your hair sucks, or your family member is a creep. The only time hair should be in a box is on an episode of CSI Miami.
When the first part of the product description is ‘good for jazz hands’ you know the makers are scraping the bottom of the barrel. This is the last thing you want someone to be wearing at the dinner table.
19. Holiday Hand Towels
We would never dispute the usefulness of hand towels, but holiday hand towels are just inconvenient. Why buy something you can only ever use once a year without looking weird?
This is the ultimate bad Christmas gift to buy someone. Socks are a blight upon the holiday season. They involve no thought whatsoever and they barely emit a small smile when opened on Christmas morning.